Hollywood Justice Division part 1: Revengers Assemble.

T'were a right faggot of a morning. The rain was pissing down on the town like an intoxicated vagrant upon the tiled floor of a sheltered shop doorway in the dead of night. A terrible stench stirred and lingered in the air about this place, as if a million Indian elephants were simultaneously flatuating through their asses and trunks after working their way through the entire worlds supply of their native curry dishes. All in all, it was a fairly pleasant start to a day which would change the world of Natalie Porkman forever.
For those of you yet to have discovered the legend of Natalie Porkman, in a nutshell, one day she ate some tainted magical bacon. That night as she slept, she dreamed she was savaged and ravaged by an army of super warrior pigs. When she awoke, she discovered that she too was blessed and also burdened with the powers and responsibilities of a warrior-pig..!!!
Anyway, it was in her home town of Porkland, Oregano, where this adventure takes place.
On this right old faggot of a morning as aforementioned, Natalie Porkman (NP) was on her early morning trip to gather breakfast. Her usual preference for this nourishment came in the form of a classic British dish which contains the ingredients of pig and chicken fetus, jammed between 2 slices of bread. Considering the forthcoming events of the day, this breakfast could well be described as portentous, though we should note it was a fairly regular choice for NP, so... nothing really mystical about it.
So... speeding things up a bit here, she was ambushed on her way to breakfast by a hoard of evil hens or chickens... maybe cocks, but I didn't want to use the sentence ´Natalie Porkman was set upon by a gang of nasty Cocks on her way to breakfast´. Anyway, these chicken/hens/cocks were sent out to get her by sworn enemy ´Tim Hen-Man´.
This nemesisism pertains to the time NP rejected the sexual advances of the Hen-Man and also insulted his tennis prowess. Porkman said that Henman couldnt even beat Stephen Hawk-skin at tennis. She was right to decline his advances, and also right about his poor tennis skills but Hen-Man is a proud cock of a Hen-Man and so took these fair criticisms to heart and so was begotten the feud of which lore is now being spoken.
In short Porkman is the good guy, Hen-Man the bad.
So on this lovely faggot of a morning which I have been posturing to inform thee of, loads of cocks set about Porkman and chased her into the woods. The gang was led by a peculiar looking creature, a hench(wo)man of Hen-Man´s named Christina Hen-Dicks. As Hen-Dicks and her crew were chasing our lovely but tiring Porkman through the woods, they had almost caught up with her and the most cruelest of fates awaited her when SWOOSH!! BANG!!! SPLAT!!! a massive tree fell upon the chasing, ravenous cocks, blasting most of them to smitherines and dispersing the few remaining (which included Hen-Dicks, luckily for her). As Porkman gathered her breath and took account of the miracle which had just saved her, the felled tree began to rumble and amazingly started to un-fall.:!!
Gob-smacked, Porkman looked up as the tree became erect and she spotted his face..!!
"I am Morgan Tree-Man!" Observed the tree as he introduced himself to Porkman.

.... To be continued

There you go.. an interesting story for you. But I will only publish more if I have at least 10 comments from 10 different people asking for it. Otherwise, nobody is worthy of receiving said legend yet. It has to be desired to be delivered.

Good tidings,

Wilf